I've been away from my blog for a while. There is a lot to catch up but right now i just need to type how i am feeling. Long story short, since my last post i fell in love and that relationship has just ended. I have completely come to terms with the fact that the relationship is over but right now she needs space so we aren't talking for now. I am realizing that this breaks my heart. The break up hurt but not being able to talk to my best friend is heart breaking. Even before we were dating, when we were just friend, we constantly e-mailed each other, sent each other youtube videos, songs, articles that we thought the other would like. We constantly took pictures of pretty things with our phone and texted them to each other. Now, none of that... and it has only been 2 days! The relationship ended about a week ago but for the 1st couple days we just kept doing what we were doing. Now that we are "taking space" I find myself still taking pictures so i can send them to her when we are in contact again. I am bookmarking pages/articles that i think she will enjoy. Making a list of songs in my head that i want to send her.
Anyway, i am sad... and scared. I can totally live without her as a partner but i'm not sure how to cope without her as a friend. Life is so short... i just keep thinking things like "what if one of us gets hit by a bus today" and i can't stand that we are wasting precious moments. She brings me joy and happiness, whether is is as a friend or a partner doesn't matter to me. I hope she comes around soon.
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